BB# 39: 8 Patterns that are keeping you STUCK!

Hey friend,

This is going to be quite a hard-hitting message. But it needs to be said.

Over the last 20 years in performance coaching, and the last decade working directly with people who want to change their life, whether through business, career, or a complete transformation, I've noticed something:

There are patterns. Deep, recurring ones.

Having worked with over 50,000 students in my education business, and personally mentored thousands more, I’ve had thousands of conversations with people who come to me because they want change. But they never follow through.

Sometimes the reason is theirs.
Sometimes the reason is mine.

But the patterns are always the same.

At first, they present like hairline cracks.
A bit of indecision here.
A little hesitation there.
But 15 years down the line, they become full-on crevices almost impossible to repair.

So here they are.

1. They stay surrounded by people just like them.
And those people, well-meaning, familiar, safe, become the filter for every decision.
They become threatened by people who are not like them. Who think differently. Who challenge their comfort zone.
So nothing changes.

2. Resistance to change is their dominant pattern.
Right now, it might be something like not wanting to play with ChatGPT and resisting AI.
Last decade, it was not learning the skills they needed.
Before that, it was refusing to embrace tech.
Whatever the flavour, the outcome is the same: they fall behind. Year after year.
And then it feels even harder.

3. Vision doesn’t come naturally. And they shut out those who have it.
You don’t need to be a visionary to succeed. But you do need to listen to those who are.
Yet these people turn off when the future is spoken about.
They shrink into the present or the past.
Almost wanting it to be hard.
And stay stuck.

4. They have no mentors.
In fact, they resist mentorship altogether.
They celebrate the hard way.
They wear struggle as a badge of honour.
And they confuse resilience with refusing help.

5. They live in reaction, not creation.
Their career moves are reactive.
Their business plans are non-existent.
They never ask: Who do I need to become?
They wait for change to slap them in the face and by the time it does, it’s often too late.

6. They think needing help is weakness.
They believe they should already know the answer.
That asking is failing.
That guidance is for other people.
And because of that, they stay stuck in the same place for years.

7. They make decisions. Then walk them back.
The courage to make a decision is one thing.
The courage to follow through is another.
Most never follow through.
They talk themselves out of the very thing they said they wanted.
Then wonder why they’re unhappy.

8. They avoid sales like the plague.
They avoid the uncomfortable conversations.
They think selling is sleazy.
They think every action has to deliver a clear result now.
They miss the lateral opportunity in every interaction, clients, partners, referrals, leverage.

They think linear.
They live linear.
And they wonder why their life doesn’t move.

Look, this is not judgement.
This is observation.
Years of it.

And the truth is, if you recognise any of these patterns in yourself, that’s not the end of the world. It’s the start of awareness.

Because patterns can change.
Habits can shift.
And decisions can be made, real ones.

But only if you stop pretending.
Only if you’re ready to get serious.
Only if you’re done with playing small.

We all have to choose at some point.
To grow.
To act.
To move.

And if you’re ready, I can help.
You just need to stop running the same script.

Speak soon,

B. Xx

My clients winning, here’s just a few recent examples:

• A selection of clients winning Here. 

• Learn how Sam from a handful of clients signed 5 clients from one event Here. 

• Learn how Russell generated £32k of increased revenue in just 6 weeks Here. 

• Hear from Craig who signed his first £30k client and scale from there Here. 

• A selection of my clients speaking about their personal and business transformations: https://youtu.be/DefGWRjHrsA 

• Tons more on my website here.

• And my Linkedin here (scroll to featured section).

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